Poetry: what my heart has to say

8 months

 

Some days it feels like you’ve never been gone.

Closed eyes take me to yesterday

and you are there

your colours shining so brightly

your laughter filling the room

and the sound of my name

called with a beaming smile

filling my heart

life bursting from you

your energy radiant

and inescapably infectious

lighting up eyes all around

because the world knows your face

and it sees you

as you always wanted it to.

 

But some days it feels like you’ve been gone forever.

When I open my eyes and see today

it is empty

colours are dimmed

and her laughter sounds different now

with smiles on faces

but you in eyes

as the days crawl by

the brakes slammed on your fast pace

and in moments of silence

I hear the world crying out

that someone is missing

missing too soon

and for so long that we wonder

did we ever really have you?

 

But we did have you, although you weren’t here yesterday

It has been 242 days

days of drawings and flowers and moments remembered

of tears and prayers

and letters you wrote

that we read to hear your voice again

even for a second

you are alive

and I feel you here

but then

the second must past

and we move to the next

the next second of missing you

and your reckless beauty.

 

20 million seconds and counting

so many more to come.

 

All we can do is remember

every second, every day, every month that goes by

remember you

and that you see us.

 

You ask me

to be bolder

shine brighter

and jump higher

so that is what I must do.

 

8 months, BM, 15/07/18